Today was slightly more eventful. Except for my nap. But you get to see the inside of my brain when it's 75% functional. Lucky you.
6:26 AM: Phone rings. Answer and it's Lucifer AKA Macaulay Culkin AKA my boss telling me that I'm late for work. My first thought and words of the day are the same: "Fuck I slept through my alarm. I'm on my way"
6:27-6:40: Get in shower, blow dry hair, brush teeth
6:42 Trip over duffle bag while trying to put on shoe. Shit.
6:43: Type all this out. I'm only working 3 hours today. Fuck it.
6:47: Gather things and go
6:49: Lock self out of house and truck. Fuck today.
6:52: This girl does a shout out on the radio to Justin Bieber. I....sigh. Stupid America.
6:53: Think about speeding around a cop. Decide a ticket is not worth it.
6:54: FUCKING COP GO AWAY
6:55: Run red turning light.
6:57: Decide that I like the new sound of Tegan and Sara. Much better than their "Blacklight" album a few years ago.
6:58: Intense road rage ensues. MOTHER FUCKER WHY YOU GOING 15 IN A 30! I KNEW I SHOULD'VE TAKEN THE FUCKING FREEWAY
7:01: "AND WE'LL FLOAT ON ALRIGHT/ ALREADY WE'LL ALL FLOAT ON ALRIGHT/ DON'T WORRY EVEN IF THINGS END UP A BIT TOO HEAVY..."
7:03: Arrive in hell.
7:05: FUCKER IS THE LIGHT ON? NO I'M NOT FUCKING OPEN! GO TO 7!
7:17: There's a cop car outside of Devon's apartment
7:20: Really thankful that Claude closed last night so I don't have to take out the trash
8:46: I want to die.
8:52: Breakfasttimebreakfasttimebreakfasttime. Bagelbagelbagelbagelandschmere.
10:05: Done with work. Gave Jeff a ride to the fuel station. He sat in the bed. We are true Mexicans.
10:08: Realized that I forgot to buy something cold to keep me awake while I study. Fuck.
10:09: Contemplate drinking the whiskey that's in the backseat. Decide that I'll probably end up falling asleep in my library cubicle and sleep through my final. And it's a little too early.
10:15: Hear a commercial on the radio that Vans is having a sale this week. WHYTHEFUCKDIDIBUYSHOESLASTWEEK
10:16: Arrive at shady ass liquor store.
10:19: Debating between a giant Brisk Rasberry Iced Tea and a warm Gatorade.
10:21: Ooooh they have cold Gatorade! I hate making decisions.
10:25: Went with giant ass Rockstar
10:29: Radio options are "Thrift Shop", fun. and Mumford and Sons. I choose some rap song. Naturally.
10:36: It's starting to rain and I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I'm probably not going to be able to study for this exam. And I didn't bring a hoodie today. Fuck.
10:43: Switched parking lots and found a spot right next to the building I need to go to. Score!
11:40: I'm pretty sure I'll be ok with BSing this exam. Thank you for existing, sparknotes
11:41: Just realized that I forgot to buy a blue book. Ermahgerd.
11:49: BLACK GUY IN A GOTHIC DRESS BLACK GUY IN A GOTHIC DRESS
11:57: I sincerely hope that this is the last day I will ever have to hear fisherman vest speak.
12:00: Time to bullshit!
1:21: Exam finished. Beer for lunch? I think yes.
1:27: Goddamn, Adam Levine.
2:30: Had a schooner of Guinness and a sandwich while studying for tomorrows final. Old men looked at me funny for bringing a book and a notebook to a bar. Currently heading home for a nap.
2:39: Almost home. Really sleepy. Pretty buzzed. Really need to release my bladder.
2:43: I don't know if it's because I'm slightly intoxicated, but the cars coming towards me as I was trying to turn into my neighborhood just now were going really really fast.
2:44: Trying to keep a sober face and speech whilst talking to mom. Ended up just saying "I'm going to nap now."
2:45: Releasing bladder.
2:47: Washing hands
2:48: Where did I put you, Angry Birds jimjams?
2:49: Hello there, Angry Birds jimjams! You're so comfy!
2:49: Fell down trying to put on Angry Birds jimjams. I should've just taken off my jeans and slept like that.
2:51: Hugging my Hug-A-World because it's naptime. Apparently I'm going to New Mexico and Tanzania.
4:45: Phone rings. It's my tiny fake ginger midget alarm clock. She's feeling under the weather and dreaming about giant mosquitos. I told her to get a space heater because it's from space. She shot me down. As always.
4:57: I don't want to get out of bed. But I have to meet Hoover in a half hour. But bed is comfy. But free movie...buuuuut comfy pants...but free...to my jeans!
5:15: Leaving to meet Hoover. I should probably text back all of the people who texted me while I was sleeping. I'm only popular when I'm asleep. Other than that, I have no friends.
5:20: Is there a reason that Jack FM is playing a whole lot of Queen today?
5:22: Oooooh The Police. I can dig it.
5:26: Mall traffic 5 miles from the mall is stupid. Traffic itself is stupid. The car in front of me is stupid for not going on the yellow. #christmasproblems
5:37: IWANTTOPARTYWITHKE$HASOBAD
5:39: Arrive at Town Center. It's weird being here and not going to Starbucks. What movie am I seeing? I don't know but it's free. Time to hide my phone
6:46: We've been sitting in the theater for a long time. There are so many famous people in here. We've seen Rosanne, Forrest Whitaker, Honey Boo Boo (in 20 years), the little Asian kid from Indiana Jones, Will.I.Am, Mr. Clean, the Hobbitses, Queen Latifah, a Daywalker, Nicholas Cage, Kathy Griffin, Sean Kingston, Cleopatra/Nefertiti and so many more. I just want Ke$ha to walk in.
6:55: "The lesbians next to me asked if there were really famous people here. I told them we were just being assholes and pointed everyone out." ---Hoover
7:00-8:something: "Whoa there, creepy voodoo lady"
"This bitch"
"MINI PAYTON SAWYER!"
"RATCHETS!"
"Who masturbates like that? She's just touching her face with her awk hand"
"I'm waiting for Leo DiCaprio to walk out. 'This is actually all a dream, Nell' DUNDUN"
"Rapecity bitch Raperapecity bitch"
"THE GORILLA THREW THE TIRE!"
"IT'S NOT CHRIS"
"NO MINI PAYTON"
"Crazy ass voodoo lady"
"We're watching Men In Black?"
"I want a chicken"
"There better be a part 3 with that ending"
"Was Gwen a lesbian? That's what I really want to know."
8:45: Movie is over. Possibly one of the funniest movies I've seen all year. I strongly suggest that everyone see The Last Exorcism II when it comes out
9:02: Study at Starbucks time. Grab backpack out of truck.
9:10: Order a Starbucks Doubleshot on ice and a panini. This douche says "Oh, I cleaned and turned off the panini oven already soooo I can't warm it up." Fucker it's 3 hours before closing. I'm hungry. I feel a YELP review coming on. I'll start playing closing time before you do tonight.
9:15: Kate gives me her Del Taco burrito. Thanks, honeybunch.
9:19: Devoured the burrito. It's not the same as a ham and cheese panini. I hate this guy.
10:06: This guy who dated a high school friend of mine walked into Sbux. I will never forgive him for purposely putting eggshells in the egg salad that Kathleen made for me senior year. She hasn't made me egg salad since. Stupid Cory Parrish.
11:23: The Bruins' left me about 45 minutes ago because Sarah was on the verge of dying. It's pouring outside. I'm too exhausted to be excited. I'll most likely be up late studying for my last final.
11:24: THE DOG DAYS ARE OOoooOOVER HEADEDAHEEDADA SAAAAAAaaaayyy AHEEHAAEEEHA I will never like that song.
11:26: WE'RE GOING TO DANCE HALL DANCE HALL EVERYDAY WE'RE GOING TO DANCE HALL DANCE HALL EVERYDAY
11:27: I think my brain has broken.
11:41: Have a good night, Tartis girl.
12:02: He didn't play closing time. I'm shocked. On another note, it stopped pouring before I walked to my truck and was just a light sprinkle. As soon as I got in the truck it started pouring again. Thanks, weather.
12:23: Home and exhausted. But after blogging this I'll probably keep working for a couple of hours. Day 3 staaaaaaaarts.....wait for it...
Now.
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