So, I'm sober. I had like 4 beers and 3 shots. So nothing. I wish I was drunk. BUT. BUT. Marleen wants me to do this again on Saturday as her Christmas present because I will be going out for a friend's birthday so there's a really good chance that I'll actually get drunk this time. I'm sorry that I have failed you. There's a surprise guest in tonight's episode so you have that to look forward to.
ONWARD!
12:24 AM: I hate doing the dishes.
12:38: Who the hell threw a chunk of butter in the sink? Now my hands are all greasy. Dammit.
12:50: Pet peeve: when I take off my jeans and one sock comes off with it.
1:24: Finish blogging day 2. Now I have to get down to the nitty gritty.
4:41: My hand is ridiculously cramped. 3 hour power nap then I'll get back at it.
7:45: Alarm goes off. Fuck it I'm tired.
8:45: awaken
9:30: really get up this time
9:30-9:45: showertime
9:50-10:09: make and eat ghetto ass egg mcmuffin. Aka microwave a scrambled egg and put it on an english muffin. Pinky up.
10:09-10:15: fuck with phone
10:16-10:23: do hair, brush teeth all that jazz
10:23: decide to wear glasses today because I'm too lazy to put my contacts on
10:24: you know that your jeans are too big for you when you can slip them on buttoned and zipped.
10:25: me: dammit.
Dad: no cussing. If I can't cuss then you can't cuss. Dammit.
10:25-10:35: secret secrets with dad
10:38: TO THE CATCAVE!
10:46: radio: "Shine bright like a diamond..." me: NO...SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND
10:56: running late anyway. Decide to buy my lunch now so I won't have to later. Vons it is.
11:10: get to the Bruins'
11:37: leave for meeting with Cindy. Sarah's taking me so I don't have to park.
11:38: I'm not wearing my glasses as she drives. It's like a rollarcoaster. A blurry, blurry rollarcoaster.
11:43: discuss my drinking habits. I've started not thinking about it when I go places. I just walk in and I'm like "Oop pint of Guinness." "Oop Jack and Coke for lunch."
12:07: debating the differences in Mexican fast food with Sarah. KING TACOOOOOO
12:10: instagram some dumbass driver
12:22: finally eat the half eaten ice cream sandwich that Mar and Hoover left for me in the freezer last week.
12:23: Sarah's showing me a video that she post on my wall. It's about instagram.
12:27: Sarah tells me that the sauce in my frozen lunch smells like vomit. I don't disagree, but I'm going to eat it anyway.
12:31: Sarah is still shocked that I like T-Swift. But it's pretty much mostly when I'm drunk.
12:42: "feeling like a high schooler/ sipping on a wine cooler"---sorry Ke$ha but I was not drinking wine coolers in high school. I was drinking tequila. I feel like someone is going to send me a flier to AA after this.
12:51: just realized that all of the notes I'm writing down are straight from the book. On thhe exam we can use either notes or the book, but not both. WHY THE FUCK HAVE I SPENT THE LAST TWO DAYS WRITING ALL OF THIS SHIT DOWN?!?!? I'm done. I'm just stopping and going to use the book on the exam. Mother. Fucker.
1:02: discussing Robert Pattinson's ability to cover up an accent
1:45: give Kate and Sarah a comic book movie schpeel
1:02-2:48: play Flow Free until I realize what time it is. Shit, I have to go to school.
2:57: WE FELL IN LOVE IN A HOMELESS PLACE! WE FELL IN LOVE IN A HOMELESS PLAAAAAACE
3:03: I'm pretty sure this guy is going to key my truck for snaking this parking spot.
3:04: he's heading in a different direction. Crisis averted.
3:06: so I've been taking off my glasses when I'm outside because the lenses change in the light and I hate that. From a distance I thought I saw wheelchair Wendy. It was a black dude.
3:08: I hope that I don' run in to anyone that I know because their face will just be a blur and I will have no idea who they are.
4:19: last final is done. Just 3 take home essays and I'm done. Buuuuuut I'll do them tomorrow. Tonight, I drink!
4:23: sellin my last book baaaaack
4:25: jabba the hut in front of can't stand still. It's making me nervous.
4:27: aaand theyre not taking this book back. Fml.
4:39: back at the catcave.
4:44: time to play Flow Free for awhile while Sarah does homework before we go Christmas shopping. I really just need to finish getting Kathleen's present, get Sarah, Kate, Petra, and Matt something. I'm cheap this year.
5:32: Sarah is judging me about my rap music. And she's ranting about her crazy neighbor.
5:45: this is Sarah speaking, kt is driving and i'd rather not die so i'm taking over for now. Kt bought me a giftcard, then proceeded to throw it at me while saying "Merry Christmas"
6:00: we're now getting gas as kt is shoveling down pasta salad like it's her last meal on earth and Mar just scared the shit out of me and chucked bbq sauce at me
6:20: kt is now yelling at a stupid driver by shouting "YOU WERE TURNING RIGHT, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!?!"
6:21: "WHY IS YOUR BLINKER ON?!? WHY ARE YOU ST0PPING?!?"
6:22: call me maybe comes on the radio: "this is my jam!"
6:26: "ooo new tswift music video, i need to check that out!"
6:27: little known fact the only music kt cares about is rap, carly rae whatever, and lots of tswift
6:36: we have finally made to our original destination, the mall and kt is immediately distracted by batman stuff while also imparting mall wisdom to me
6:45: and i just got creeped out by giant pictures of doey eyed children. sarah out.
7:48: just ran into Kathleen's parents and sister in the mall. Then Sarah ran into a plant and attacked it
8:12: Matt, Sarah and Petra are done for Christmas. Sarah has a brain freeze. TO THE CATCAVE
8:16: sarah again, i figured the world needs to know the truth of what it's like to drive with kt
8:17: and once again kt has found ke$ha on the radio, while also locking me into her car and telling me that there is no escape...should i be worried?
8:25: and now kt has mellowed herself out by listening to depressing music. The moral of this story is that if you need an excuse to avoid writing a paper due tomorrow hanging with kt is a good way to go. See you next time, this is goodbye from Sarah
8:36: time to wrap presents. This is the only part that I like about buying people things.
9:08: Sarah: if it gets wet the writing is going to come right off.
Me: why are you watering your presents?
Sarah: what if I get excited?!?
Me: WHY ARE YOUR PRESENTS IN YOUR PANTS?!?
Sarah: ISN'T THAT WHERE ALL PRESENTS GO?!?
9:45: Hoover shows up. For some reason I've managed to wrap Matt's gift the better than Petra's. Which is weird because Petra's is in a box and Matt's is a mushy shapeless object.
10:07: Me and Hoover go to my truck to drop off my shit and so I can change my hoodie. Tonight I'm wearing a green shirt, my green Vans, a red hoodie and my leather jacket. I'm festive as hell for this Christmas present.
10:15: Me and Hoover convince Marleen to come to the party with us. Pick her up from Vons which is cool because we needed to get beer anyway.
10:30: We're at Mar's waiting for her to change and Hoover and I are discussing Twilight
10:43: Siri is taking us somewhere that's not where we're going. Siri is a dumb ho.
10:47: turns out Hoover had us going to Santa Ana. I'm sorry, Siri. Not really. I still hate Apple products. Fuck Siri.
11:25: Lammy is a classy fucker. Pinky up.
11:34: playing kings cup. Category: sex positions. Lammy: the nice crawfish?
11:45: shots of some kind of irish cream liquor happen.
11:51: "BITCH IS IN A ONESIE?"---Lammy
11:55: More shots of Irish Cream Liquor
12:00: Lam: *opens up cupboard* "Oop there's Ragu. Nope. Can't do it."
Me: "Lam...that's Pace salsa"
12:15: "can I just put the spaghetti in my pocket?"
12:38: "oh that's a puddle. Now my foot is wet."
12:39: calling it an early night. There were no beer pong balls.
12:46: Matt finally calls me back. It's too late.
12:50: decide to go to Tommy's for food with Marleen. Never been here before.
12:55: Make plans with Matt for the weekend.
12:58: Marleen admits to Facebook stalking customers who she thinks is hot. Slightly creeped out about this friendship.
1:03: Marleen is Facebook stalking this dude right now.
1:05: creepy black dude comes up to us as we're waiting for our food. "Hey I'm sorry I'm sorry but I'm stranded here and I asked the police to give me a ride but they said no. Is there any chance you can give me a lift?"
Me: "no, sorry. We walked."
Black guy: "what about some cash for a cab?"
Mar: "sorry I don't have any cash"
BG: "really?"
Me: "yeah, sorry."
BG: "What about change for the bus?"
Me: "nope"
1:08: get in truck and drive away when we know black guy is across the street
1:15: eat food in truck outside of Mar's apartment. It's no Pink's chili but I can dig it.
1:20: discuss work related issues
1:25: tell Mar some drinking stories from when I was a minor
1:40: head home
2:01: realize that I left my cup in the truck
2:05: dishes
2:10: read obnoxious letter from a teacher at my high school.
2:16: take photo of obnoxious letter and Instagram it.
2:17: Unfold letter even further and find that he has included a really blurry picture of our graduating class.
2:18: Find myself in said photo.
2:20: Instagram said photo.
I'm too tired to make it all look pretty. But that was pretty much my day today. I haven't really slept more than a couple of hours in the last week and a half sooooo goodnight websorz.
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