So. My good friend Marleen asked me to do one of the "day in the life" segments as a Christmas present because she finds them entertaining. I told her that I would document my Saturday because I was planning on going out to a bar in LA for a friends birthday and nights when I actually do something are usually pretty entertaining. I am currently not in the happiest mood nor am I 100% sober to be writing anything so I'm just going to copy and paste my day now. Yes, part of my functioning brain realizes that that sentence made no sense. No, I do not give a fuck.
3:23: remember that I told Mar that I'd do this for her Christmas present
Recap of my super eventful day so far:
11ish-12:40ish: wake up. Check social media sites. Mom made chorizo so I warm it up and eat it. Catch up on New Girl and The Mindy Project.
12:40ish: start watching Dr. Who.
1:15ish: eeeeh one more episode won't hurt.
1:55: damn it was a two parter. Have to get ready for the day. But must find out what happens...
2:30ish: shower
2:45: call Matt
2:50: ask mom to go to Costco to buy movie tickets
2:55: Mom: just take my Costco card. The picture looks like you. Me: this card says you've been a shopper since 1985. I wasn't even born yet. I don't look like I'm that old. Mom: sure you do. ---always with the ego boost.
3:00: call Dad. Says he'll give me tickets but he's in Carson.
3:15: leave house.
3:30: get off on wrong exit.
3:35: arrive at destination.
3:45: head to Matt's. Dad's friend asked me 4 times if I wanted a beer. 4 times I replied: no thanks I'm in a hurry.
3:47: while on the freeway, decide that either I put my contacts in the wrong eyes again or I'm really going blind.
3:53: getting off freeway because there's too much traffic. Switch CD's while on the offramp. That's safe.
3:58: see Asian in a Christmas sweater wearing a bicycle helmet at the bus stop. No bike in sight.
4:00: Mexicans in an F150 get into a car accident with an old couple in a Ford Taurus. Surprisingly only the F150 is damaged. Probably because when we come up against the white race, we always lose. Mexicans like myself have an enormous amount of bad luck.
4:04: see a pudgy shoeless white kid walking around with a fishing pole.
4:05: arrive at Matt's. Hang up swaggy shirt for later tonight.
4:25 park at the Town Center
4:37: Buy ticketes for 6:00 Hobbit. Decide to eat at Islands.
4:41: our server is incredibly happy. "By the end of this meal, we will crush that happiness out of her soul."---Matt.
4:43: "look at this guy he looks like Kevin Bacon"---Matt
4:46: try and fail to make sense of Dani California.
4:50: our food is served. Tonight I am eating a medium-well Bleunami Burger and Matthias is eating a spicy Kilawea burger
5:10: Matt just gave me a whole Dr. Who tutorial haha.
5:25 done. Paid. Discussing Justice League Movie
5:29: sitting in theater. Some lady is laughing like a cackling hyena
5:30: conversation turns to Ant Man.
5:33: the only good Christmas songs are done by The Chipmunks.
5:38: the entire theater gets to hear us sing "Mad World"
5:40: This is the best Justice League movie discussion I've had so far. Mostly because Matt agrees with me.
5:46: Matt goes to the bathroom. We plan on getting a bunch of free water from the concession stand.
5:49: PLL PLL PLL PLL NEW THINGS FROM THE NEW SEASON
5:51: remember the time I met Lucy Hale at the Nashville airport. She was super cool after I told her that I went to high school with one of her friends. I am known by so many b-list celebs
5:56: pretty sure the geeky Asian kid next to me just jizzed himself due to the Bioshock: Infinite trailer
6:00 HOBBITESES!
6:10: another tom cruise classic.
6:15: GODDAMMIT BRINEY! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! oh wait, stephanie meyer. Already ruined.
9:00: so the movie's over...anf the two Asian's sitting next to us were all kinds of ridics.
9:19: trying to convince Matt to come to LA with me tonight
9:30: SUCCESS
9:47: onward!
10:30: find parking. Both take a few shots of jack and jim
10:38: walk to bar
10:39: ppl are talking to us on the street telling us that that they're DD is drunk
10:42: we're waiting in line to get into this bar.
10:44: went to the front and said we were here for Briana. Walk right in VIP status.
10:46: it's a club. "WHAT DID YOU GET ME INTO?"
10:50: Kathleen calls. Noooo idea what she said
11:16: me and matt decide to leave to drink more of our free alchohol
11:something: we take many shots
11:25: "our bodys going dumb dumb dumb dumb dumbdumb katie's lips are going numb numb numb numbnumb"--Matt
11:28: "I should be Ke$ha."---matt
11:30 matt squats under some tree branches as he walks under them
11:37: brianas friend buys us shots. #yolochristmas
11:53: waiting in line for the bathroom. All of the girls now have to go to the guys. It's a big thing. The womens is apparently worse than the guys
12:00 matt hides flask. We are both nice and drunkkkk
12:04: it reeks of weed
12:17: apparently Matt's lady is cooler than his best friend because he won't dance with me. On anonter note: i know I'm drunk when I want to dance
12:31: bought a corona. Dgaf. #yolochristmas
12:41 if more drunk wouldve hooked up with flannel shirt guy. Clearly not drunk enough
12:50:texted matts lady on his pjone telling her thag hes being lame
12:55: met a bunch of people who know Kathleen. I didn't catch any of their names.
12:57: gave matt my keys. Cleary im the weaker link tonight.
1:00 bathroom. The girls bathroom is cool this time.
1:25: matts dricing. Kathlseens mad ar me. I might die.
1:31; wr're lozt in LA.
1:34: found frseway. I hope we make it on one pice.
1:35; feel really bad becauss kathleens really mad at me
1:40 "i hope you know i swear to god i hope you know i swear to god i swear to god i wont stop until youre shaaaaaaakin"
1:49: "ive got plenty of time to waste on yoooou"
1:52: "i need you outta my head! Outta my heeeeead!"
2:00 oh this is not where we wanted to be. But the dance party kn the truck is happeneing
2:01; A COP A COP OH GOD A COP
2:03: CRISIS AVERTED
2:07 Dennys!!!
2:10: oh god i dont have a voice.
3:12: home. Argument with someone over the phone. Dishes. Blog. Bed.
I'm too drunk to read and edit everything. If i wasn't slurring somewhere in there, don't be surprised. I have an obnoxiously good spelling ability when intoxicated. There's only one person who can really tell when I'm drunk.You're not crazy. I really am that sneaky. No I'm going to watch something on Netflix to make my mood better. Here's to hoping it works.
MERRY CHRISTMAS MARZIPAN!!!!!
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