Secret Monday's: Everyone is a sloot.

I watch a lot of crappy television shows. From MTV to ABC Family, my choice in TV shows is complete shit. Recently, I've started watching Laguna Beach re-runs on Netflix just for shits and giggles. I've been addicted to crappy television since I was young and it's surprising that my brain is not mush by now. 

One show that I could never get into is the 'Secret Life of A Nerdy 16 Year Old Who Gave it Up at Band Camp' or "Secret Life of the American Teenager" as you know it. When the show began, I watched the first two episodes and couldn't get into it so I stopped and never gave it another thought. 

I've recently decided to try and watch it's the final season, so Monday nights will be dedicated to my thoughts on this stupid show. 

Oh, and before you start reading, keep in mind that sloot is another word for slut. I'm trying to make it happen. Like fetch.

8:01: What the fuck is going on?

8:02:  Oh this half-Asian 12 year old gave up her baby for adoption

8:02: They let the pregnant teenager mentor other pregnant teenagers? 

8:02: SHE GOT MARRIED??

8:03: You know how to avoid people talking about your wedlocked pregnancy? Not sleep around when you're 12.

8:04: Oh she's not married. She's getting married.

8:04: I've always thought this Ricky kid was an attractive fellow.

8:04: Who is this whiny kid? Why does he want to leave with the half-Asian? What is her name?

8:05: How did this kid spawn from a black lady and an Indian guy?

8:07: Really Indian dude? You're going to let your 15 year old son move by himself to Texas? This isn't India. You can't just ship your kids off to live with their high school girlfriend.

8:08: Ooooh the half-Asian's name is Kathy. Maybe with a 'c'? I always thought Asian Kathy's are with a 'k'.

8:09: This girl looks like a sloot.

8:09: They let her live with Ricky? Shit, I would do more than live with Ricky.

8:10: Does this kid know how much a wedding dress costs? Really fucking expensive.

8:11. What? She's blaming him and he thinks that she wants to back out of the wedding?

8:11: That dress is super shitty though. 

8:15: I totally forgot that the Breakfast Club girl is in this

8:16: HOLY SHIT IT'S MARIA'S MOM FROM ROSWELL

8:16: The dad is hitting on Maria's mom and she's a lesbian

8:17: 80's queen is a lesbian now?

8:17: She has a kid too? How many kids are in this show? What the hell is making these people so fertile?

8:18: Maria's mom is an AA sponsor

8:19: Ricky's mom is possibly a lesbian. There are a whole lot of lesbians in this show

8:20: Ricky's mom is jealous as fuck

8:23: This big headed douche is still in this show? And he's still with the preachers' daughter? 

8:24: Oh Lord, save me from the religious quotation

8:24: Oh the ex-pregnant girls name is Amy

8:25: Why is this Amy girl just wearing her shitty wedding dress around town?

8:26: Oh so Amy and Ricky are married already

8:26: Oh I remember this Latina sloot

8:27: Hara Dara is apparently some super fancy dress

8:29: The half-Asian and the whiny 15 year old are excellent at playing whiny 15 year olds

8:33: Why does Amy still look like she's 13?

8:34: This is the worst marriage ever. Apparently there was a girl named Clementine in the picture? And they're not really married, they're just telling people they're married? So does this mean that their baby is really an android since they're lying about everything else?

8:36: Who is this girl with the nerdy guy?

8:37: This girl is dumb as dirt. Don't tell her she's not stupid, nerdy guy.

8:38: Who is this sloot?

8:39: This sloot is an insomniac apparently

8:39: The sloot was a 15 year old hooker! No wonder she's so stupid

8:40: The sloot spilled the beans about Amy's fake marriage to the nerdy kid's dad!

8:46: The nerdy kids dad doesn't want him to end up with Amy?

8:46: Prediction: Amy is going to end up with the nerdy kid whose name I just found out is Ben because Ricky won't be able to keep his dick in his pants around this Clementine character.

8:48: This is going to be a terrible marriage.

8:49: THIS GIRL'S A BITCH! "Thanks for being obsessed with me between girlfriends and my marriage. It makes me feel good about myself. If you never find anyone else I'll have regrets..."

8:54: Why is Chaz Bono in this show? What the hell kind of show is this?

8:55: The 80's queen was a total sloot after her marriage ended. There's a possibility that her new son isn't Amy's dad's son.

8:56: Wasn't there a sister in this show? Where is she at? Did she die? Try and kill the baby? Run away and become a lesbian like every other girl in this show?

8:57: Ricky is totes in love with this Clementine barista chick. 

8:57: Oh shit the half-Asian is going to be surprised by her 15 year old boyfriend

8:58: Oh thank Jesus it's over. Now I can go back to watching last week's Pretty Little Liars.

I know why I hated this show. It's terrible. It reminds me of a less preachy 7th Heaven---another shitty show that I did not watch. 

Oh, I Googled the name of the 80's queen. It's Molly Ringwald. I really want to ask her if she knows what happened to Emilio Estevez. It's been awhile since I've seen that guy.