Top Ten Thursday: The Wonder Pets

Welcome to another addition of Top Ten Thursday. I'm going to warn you right now: there's a good chance that you will have absolutely no idea what I am talking about. You probably read the title and thought "Wonder Pets? What the fuck is that?" But don't worry, I'll give you a little back-story before I really dive into this one.

A few weeks ago, after a night of heavy drinking and horror movies, I found myself sitting in the living room of my friends' apartment. The eight of us were in debate on what to watch, searching through Netflix looking for a movie or show that we could all agree on. Somehow, we ended up looking through the 'children and family' genre. As we flipped through the kids movies, we found a show called The Wonder Pets. All of us thought the premise sounded ridiculous, so naturally we decided to watch an episode. We had no idea that The Wonder Pets would become something we would watch all the time.

In a nutshell, The Wonder Pets is about three schoolhouse pets who are secretly pet superheroes after school is out. Together, Lenny the Guinea pig, Tuck the Turtle, and Ming-Ming the duckling (and only girl) work together to save baby life forms (mostly animals, but in one episode they save a tree in New York) and at the end of each episode they share a piece of celery. The Wonder Pets show tiny children, as well as hungover pseudo-adults, the importance of friendship and teamwork. Oh, and did I mention that they sing while they save creatures? They do.

Sound ridiculous? It is. We have no business watching this show geared toward two year old kids, but we watch it anyway. Now, for the top ten reasons why I like this show.

10. They save baby things.

I am not generally a fan of tiny baby things. Their size usually freaks me out. I am also not a fan of animals (except for puppies because they're awesome). I'm a freak. However this is a show about baby animals wearing capes who save other baby animals. Now that is adorable.

9. They saved a unicorn and a dinosaur.

I fucking love unicorns and dinosaurs.

8. It's the one show that all ten (or so) of us who go to that apartment can agree on.

You try getting ten pseudo-adults in a room and see if they all have the same taste in movies and TV shows. Most of our nights end in a debate whether or not we want to watch Paranormal Activity or Nashville (hint: Nashville never wins). It's the one show that once someone says "Wonder Pets?" we all go "YEAAAAAAAH!" and sit around the TV to see what they're going to save this time.

7. How did the animal get into that situation? 

Some of the situations they get into are ridiculous. How the hell does a unicorn get it's horn stuck in a tree? It looked like it rammed it head on then afterward thought "Oh fuck, why did I do that?" Then their resolution was to unscrew her from the tree like a screwdriver? Yeah. Think about that one.

6. Watch one episode and you know the lyrics to 90% of the songs

It's true. Then it gets stuck in your head for three days. "Wonder Pets! Wonder Pets we're on our way!"

"The phone. The phone is ringing."

5. Even imaginary and extinct animals get saved

Unicorns and dinosaurs. Nuff said.

4. Fucking Ming-Ming.

No one likes Ming-Ming. She's a bitch who thinks that she can do everything herself but in reality all she does is say "THIS IS SEWIOUS!" and pretends to do something. In the first episode ("The Wonder Pets Save the Dolphin"), Ming-Ming says "I'll cut the net all by myself! Oh, you guys can help too I guess..." then when she jumps in the water to save the dolphin, she doesn't do anything! She's a bitch. Shut up Ming-Ming.

3. Tuck the Turtle

Tuck is awesome. He has running shoes that make him go fast and he wears a sailor hat. A turtle wearing running shoes and a sailor hat? Adorable. Lenny is the brains of the group, Tuck is the brawn and Ming-Ming is a waster of space. Tuck is the shit. And he loves everything---in almost every episode he ends up hugging the baby life form after it has been saved. How can you not love Tuck?


2. Fact: Tuck secretly hates Ming-Ming

In the Christmas episode, Ming-Ming breaks Tuck's present then just goes. "Oops, sorry. Now I can open my present!" Fuck you Ming-Ming. Tuck kind of alludes to his dislike of Ming-Ming in the episode "The Wonder Pets Save the Duckling". In this episode, Ming-Ming tries to save a squirrel by herself, fails because the squirrel is fine, gets stuck in some tree sap, and falls on the roof. She can't fly because her wings are stuck to her sides. Lenny and Tuck are getting ready to save her and they pretty much prove that they could be heroes without Ming-Ming. They don't really need her. At one point during the episode, Tuck says something along the lines of "Isn't it better when it's just the two of us Lenny?" It is Tuck. It is.

1. Neglectful Parenting

It never fails---at the end of almost every episode, the parents of the baby animals are standing off to the side and just go "Oh, thanks Wonder Pets!" 
Really? You know that your child is stuck in a dangerous situation and you just let it stay there? You don't make any attempt to help or call for help? No. You just wait for other baby animals to come and fix it for you. And The Wonder Pets don't even question it. They just say "You're welcome. Now let's eat celery." Way to go, parents.





Even if you're not a child (I hope children don't read this. I use a lot of vulgar language), I suggest that you watch The Wonder Pets. This show is awesome.  So watch it, make fun of Ming-Ming, love Tuck, and eat some celery.

Also, I might be five years old.