I Don't Know What's Going On.: Zubat Used His Confuse Ray on Me!

Last October I wrote a blog on my Russian viewers titled "In Soviet Russia, You Don't Write Blog. Blog Write You." For those of you who are lazy and don't feel like clicking on that link, I'll clue you in on what it was about.

I had discovered that the Russians have an odd fascination with me. In the span of a week or so, I noticed that a couple of Russians started to follow my Twitter (which I rarely use) and Instagram accounts. Not only were the Russians following my social media accounts, I also noted an uptick in Russian viewers here on the ol' bloggy blog.

Since that post all those months ago, I have noted an rapid incline in foreign viewers. I don't understand it and I don't mind it, but I'm still confused by it.

Over the years I have watched my fair share of detective type mystery shows and from that intense amount of study, I've learned how to look for clues and things on the interwebz. Well, that and this Google based blog site allows bloggers to see how their views came upon your blog and what part of the world they're in.

'All-Time' highest viewer stats

As you can see here, Germany has beaten Russia. Naturally, the U.S. has come out on top (AMERIIICUH! FUCK YEAH!) and the UK is steadily growing as well. Now, I can understand why the US and the UK are reading this. This is written in English and both regions are somewhat similar in personality when it comes to this current generation. Australia and Canada: Ok, kind of along the same lines so I guess I get that too. But Germany? Ukraine? I don't get it.

I wish I could show you all of them. These are the countries that have shown the highest numbers but I've seen a couple of views from Malaysia, Switzerland, South Africa, and a couple of other places that I had to Google because I had no idea where they were.

Aside from random viewers from other countries, I also get random referrals from URLs and websites. I've never been on any of these sites until about an hour ago and I have no idea why my blog is on any of these sites. Well, except for the Facebook referrals. Those are from me.

What makes this even more confusing is that I have clicked on some of these links and referring URLs. I can't find myself anywhere! I've looked at all of them and have no idea where I come in. The kallery.net link leads to a Korean website. I don't know anybody in Korea nor do I know anything about Korea. I tried to search myself on the site after I translated it to English and I am nowhere to be found. The movie download link leads to a Filestube page. That makes no sense because I never post anything on Filestube. The Orz.tw link leads to another foreign website that I won't even try to understand. I don't know what country or language that is. I'm not even going to try and search for myself on that one.

The search keywords thing is just getting ridiculous. 80% of the search keywords have to do with the Daily Grace post I made last June. No one seems to realize that I posted a retraction to that blog in November because I changed my mind and her comedy grew on me.

Due to the frequency of people Googling the phrase "Daily Grace is not funny", I have managed to make a Google milestone. If you Google that phrase, you will find that my original post on comedian Grace Helbig is the very first result out of about 4,240,000. What. The. Hell.

In a way, it's really fucking cool that something shitty I wrote last year is #1 in a Google search. But the downside is that I'm pretty sure that all of my favorite YouTubers hate me now. I already freak out Hannah Hart and Jmarbs (Not a joke. Met them at a bar last year.) and now Grace Helbig probably hates me too because of this. Thanks, internet.