Wendy.
I can't even find the words to describe my feelings about Wendy. In last month's post I described her as a "lady who is mentally challenged and is in a wheelchair. She wears a top hat with a sunflower in it and wheels around by using her feet, and most of the time she's going backwards."
Call me an asshole for even thinking this, but I'm fairly certain that she is out to get me. I'm not trying to be mean or insensitive even though I know it looks that way. I honestly wouldn't have an issue with Wendy if I didn't think that she had an issue with me.
The concept of 'Wendy in the Wild' has been years in the making, so I've decided to finally make it a real thing.
The format of this weeks Top Ten Thursday is a little different from the others because I'm not going to discuss all of the photos so you're just going to have to bear with me. Most of them were taken in Spring 2011 so I don't remember their context.
10: Wendy wakes me up
The first day of this semester, I was sitting in class minding my own business. I was trying not to fall asleep because 8 a.m. classes are the worst, when something crashed into my chair from behind. I was jolted awake and alert, completely unsure of what had just happened. I turned around in my chair and was shocked to see Wendy there. Were 40 minutes into the class and she burst into the room in the middle of the lecture, rammed her wheelchair into the back of my seat, and yelled out that she wanted to take the class. I understand having to crash a class to get more units, but at least show up on time. Luckily for me, she didn't get in the class, but I was on the lookout for her for the rest of the day, terrified that she would try and run me over.
9: Wendy from afar
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| Across the street on my way to class. |
8: Wendy is missing
For almost an entire semester, I didn't spot Wendy once. I honestly thought she had died. One day I was at work and got an out-of-the-blue text message from a friend asking me about Wendy's appearance. I described it as "wheelchair, top-hat, sunflower, and moo-moo." She responded with "I almost crashed my car trying to get a picture of her downtown!" That's right ladies and gentlemen, Wendy wheels around in the real world. Well, at least in Downtown Long Beach.
7: Wendy rolls by the caf
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| I was just sitting there eating my lunch and she rolls on by |
6: Wendy uses the computer
This one made me laugh. This was taken the day after she rammed into my chair. I was playing Robot Unicorn Attack on the computer and listening to music and didn't even notice that she was there. there was a break in between songs and I overheard slurred speech and turned around to this sight. I don't know what made me laugh more: the headphones or the fact that she was watching some weird anime show on the computer. When I eventually went to class, she pushed her chair backwards into me. I'm telling you, she's out to get me.
5: Wendy goes to the bathroom
I rarely use the bathroom at school, but sometimes it's necessary. If I do have to go to the bathroom, I always try to use the one in the computer lab/library building because it's one of the cleanest on campus. I spend a lot of time in the library either sleeping, reading, or reading until I fall asleep. One day I was sitting in one of the cubicles in the back of the library and I saw her wheeling around looking for a place to sit. I didn't think anything of it. A little while later I needed to relieve my bladder so I went to the bathroom. I was sitting in the stall handling my business, when I heard the door slam. I saw the wheels roll by, stop in front of my stall for about 30 seconds, then continue rolling straight into the handicap stall. I can't even pee in peace now.
4: Wendy in the caf
This is my most recent photo of Wendy, taken just last Wednesday. I was having lunch with my friend Gladis talking about the Yu-Gi-Oh! nerds or something, when Wendy rolled up right in front of me. I told Gladis about 'Wendy in the Wild' and she called me Satan or an asshole or something like that. The whole time we were there, I found it incredibly difficult not to laugh. At one point she wheeled over to get something else to eat and then I could laugh in peace until she came back 3: Wendy in class
This was the moment when I first learned that Wendy's name is Wendy. Up until this moment, I had just been calling her 'wheelchair top hat lady'. One day, I was sitting with two people who were in a class with her and they told me that her name is Wendy. I had a couple of hours to kill in between class so I went to sit in their class with them and fuck around. She wheeled in, sat at , the table next to me, and every time I said something to the people I was with she would laugh. It freaked me out a bit and I didn't know what to do, so I bailed.
2: Wendy from above
This photo spawned the 'Wendy in the Wild' craze. I had a geology class and there were six of us who got along really well. It was a lecture and a lab class so we had a ten minute break. The class was on the 3rd floor so we stood outside the doors, just talking and making fun of other people in our class. As we stood there, we saw her from above. She didn't see us, but we all snapped this photo. It was the birth of 'Wendy in the Wild'. I had another one of her wheeling backwards but I can't find it in my archives.
1: My first Wendy encounter
The birth of the almighty battle between Wendy and I. It was about three years ago now, and I remember it like it happened yesterday. I was in the the DLA lab in the basement of the student lounge, photocopying some notes that a classmate had given me because I skipped class. There I was, minding my own business, making my copies, when Wendy in. There were two unused copy machines, but she rolled right into me, kicking at my heels and said "That's my copy machine! It's my turn!" I turned around and saw that she was disabled, so I politely told her that there were two unused copy machines to my left and that I had three more pages to copy. She would not let up and just sat there yelling at me. I stood there on principle but out of the corner of my eye I saw her roll back in preparation to ram into me, so I turned around and said "Ok, ok, it's yours!" in fear of bodily harm. Since then, every run-in with I've had with Wendy has been a terrifying experience.
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