Last week, a friend of mine turned 22 and tomorrow I will turn 23. In celebration of us shooting out of our mother's vagina's, a bunch of us are taking a trip to the Vegas.
I love the Vegas. I never call it Las Vegas or say "Viva Las Vegas," it will forever be THE Vegas. Why? Because it is the one and only Vegas. No one ever says "I'm going to Las Vegas, New Mexico because it is the place to party"---no. The Vegas is a magical place.
Every trip that I have taken to Vegas since I have become of legal drinking age has been memorable---both good and partially embarrassing. I never have any issues with telling people what has happened on my trips to the Vegas because, well...it's Vegas. Shit happens.
It's never been easy for me to properly describe why I love the Vegas as much as I do so in honor of my miraculous 23 years on earth, I have decided to dedicate this week's post to the Vegas.
10. You can always find something to eat.
No matter what time a day it is or how drunk you are, you can always find something to eat. From a 24 hour Denny's to the 24 hour McDonalds, it's rare to find a place that won't serve you when you have the drunk-munchies.
9. Once you've stayed in a fancy hotel once, you don't need to do it again.
My love of the Vegas has been passed down through my Dad. From the time I was a kid to now, I have stayed all up and down the strip as well as hotels around the strip. I vaguely recall even staying in ghetto North Vegas once or twice. After your first or second post-21 trip to the Vegas, you'll find that staying in a super classy hotel is not a necessity. For example---on the trip I'm going on tomorrow, we're staying at the Howard Johnson---located behind the Hooters Hotel and Casino and across the street from MGM. Do you know how much that hotel is for 4 of us? $120 for the whole weekend. Suck. On. That.
8. Gambling.
I've already gone on about this. I love gambling. I try and fight it every time I go to the Vegas but I can't. It's just way too much fun. And you get free drinks!
7. Clubbing made easy.
People always complain about Vegas clubs being expensive and whatnot---but I have never paid more than $15 to get into a club or a bar. When you're walking around the strip and those guys come up to you asking if you want to get into this place or that, say yes. Talk to them and find out what their deals are. So far my favorite find was the $15 all you can drink entry to a bar at the Flamingo. They're not creepy, they're just club promoters.
6. You never know what's going to happen.
Vegas is a magical, magical place. You can never go out for the night with a set plan of "let's do this, that, and the other thing" because your plans will always change. One time, I went to the cowboy bar in Treasure Island and almost got arrested. Did I know that was going to happen? No, I did not. Shit happens in the Vegas. Just expect the unexpected and you'll be OK.
5. It's the only place in the United States where limos are cheaper than cabs.
It's true. Legally, cabs are only allowed to take like...4 or 5 people at a time in Vegas. Even the van cabs have a 6 person limit. If you have 8 or 9 people in your group---take a limo. I was there two weeks ago and the most I spent on a limo was $10 at rates of $70 a ride. Limos are cheap and you'll look important when you get out at the club and all of those poor saps are getting out of their shitty cabs.
4. Booze---booze everywhere.
If I need to explain, then there's something wrong with you.
3. Walking around with a drink in your hand at 10 a.m. is socially acceptable.
Sometimes, you just wake up and want to walk around in public and drink all day. Vegas is the place to do that. There are no restrictions, no rules, no anything. If you're not drinking, that's when people look at you funny. When I get there tomorrow around 3 in the afternoon, I expect to stay drunk until Sunday morning. Just maintain a constant state of drunk at all times. Beer with breakfast and you're good to go.
2. If you're in bed before 3, you're not doing it right.
The Vegas is the true city that never sleeps. There are very little rules and it's hard to be bored in Vegas. Even if you don't drink, just sit outside and watch the drunks like us walk around the strip. Here in California, the bars are only open until 2 a.m. and sometimes, that's just too early for us. But in Vegas, EVERYTHING IS OPEN. You're on The Strip drinking at 3 a.m.? No one cares because Billy Joe next to you is doing the exact same time.
1. It's Disneyland for adults.
This is what I love most about the Vegas. I feel like a kid in a candy store when I'm there. Do you remember your first trip to Disneyland as a kid? How magical and fun everything was? That's the Vegas. Everything is so magical, so interesting. People seem funnier, the sun seems hotter, and strangers seem like your best friends. Also, there's a roller coaster and a couple of trams and shuttles from hotel to hotel. That's like Disneyland, right?
I am so excited for the Vegas tomorrow. I can't wait to make some more memories with my amazing friends.
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